Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Anvil on My Head

So I've got this anvil strapped to my head (the cancer), and everyone is telling me that I should exercise more! Hmmm, let's see... The other thing I hear a lot about is staying positive. That's a new title "How to Stay Fit and Stay Positive with an Anvil on Your Head". It's true that many cancer survivors speak to the role of positive thinking in their healing journeys, I don't doubt this. I do doubt however that they're including the first few days and weeks after their diagnosis' in their memories of their fights. For me, I think I need to get used to the weight of the anvil before I can make a promise to be fit and positive. I need to become accustomed to the headaches it brings, the tears, the lack of balance, the pain, the nerves, the fatigue, the shaking, the shortening of the spine, the breathlessness, the stress on my heart, the why me and the unknowns. When this new stressed body emerges, than I can really see what I'm capable of.

I don't like my Oncologist today; I think he should be in Radio.

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